Updates. 8:02 AM

I have posted a few months ago that my father had passed away. But that was not the whole story.

All of this started around August 2014. Me and my husband was confronted by a difficult situation and eventhough we had been trying our best to work things out, we found ourselves struggling. After lots of discussion, we decided to move to Jogjakarta (his hometown) and we planned to start over. We carefully planned all the timeline and other neccessary things, but... on 26th August 2014 my husband got into an accident and he broke his left arm. All of the sudden he needed to be operated.
As you know, we still lived in Bali at that time. It happened late at night when some stranger knocked on my door and told me that my husband fell of his motorbike. I rushed to the scene, and I saw my husband sitting on a chair with painfull expression. He was surrounded by people, but I still could see his arm clearly. And as a doctor, I knew that it was most likely a fracture.
I asked some strangers to help me took him to the nearest hospital. And my intuition was correct. It was a Galleazi fracture. I consulted the Orthopedist personally, and I agreed when Ortho said that my hubby needed surgery. The only problem was.. our insurance only cover for his surgery in Jogja, but not in Bali. And we had no family whatsoever to help us and support us if we decided to do the surgery in Bali. So.. I put him on a cast and strong painkillers and prep him for a flight. We decided to accelerate our moving day. So the very next day, which was 27th August, we got on a plane and moved to Jogjakarta.
Long story short, he got operated, hospitalized for a few days, still being put on a cast for at least 1 month, and my mom helped us packed all our stuffs and shipped them from Bali to Jogja.

When my husband had starting to feel better, and the day to remove his cast was getting nearer... My mom called me in a very usual morning... she only said 5 words... "your father has passed away".
It was like a storm in a bright sunny day. It was just so sudden and unpredictable. So, we took the very next flight and rushed to Palembang (my hometown). And it didn't really hit me until I saw my father's body.

I remember thinking that a few months ago my life was so happy. I had my dream job, married my soulmate, lived in a beautiful island.... then Poof. Just like that... without me even blinking... my hubby got into an accident... my father passed away.. our savings just gone... and so many stressful things happened.

Life in Jogja is not like what we expected. I became depressed and had difficulty coping. It was a rough year.

Kiddy Kiddy Bang Bang! 6:36 AM

My inlaws said that I act like a child. Childish, he said.
Well, I take that as a compliment, and make it benefits me. Hahaha.

Because only a child can see what adults can not. A child has limitless posibilities ahead of them. And a child has the courage to question everything. Therefor they experience life as an adventure to find its answer.
Being a child, for me, is not a bad thing. Acting like a child is fine and it brings me joy.
I talk in aegyo.. I act cutely.. and I laugh freely.. I found interesting aspect of all the smallest things..
I love wholeheartedly.. and I express my heart with every bits of myself.. my words, my action, my exaggeration, my passion.. every bits of it.. and I do it without feeling exhausted..
I find my heart thumping for all 'invaluable' things.. I feel excited about everything.. and I see the world in a whimsical way.. and i don't really care if people don't understand.

I see nothing wrong with being childish.

But, I Do have my own rules that are my core values about things that matters. And I will hold on to that strictly.
Crossing that line is not acceptable. And when someone do cross that line, I will gladly let them know. Whether they accept it or not,  that is not my problem. My goal is to let them know that I have a line they should not cross. That's it. And I don't think explaining myself further is neccessary. And as childish as it sounds, this is my way of life..and i will do whatever it is that I think is best for my sanity.

People can say whatever they want.
I will still be dancing eventhough they couldn't hear the music.